The Great Pine Straw Adventure 2016

The Great Pine Straw Adventure of 2016

I grew up in a state where we used mulch to edge flower beds and such. We had both regular wood mulch and some rubber mulch for around the playground equipment. Seems kids don't like falling on pointy chunks of wood. Wimps. Anyway, there were also pine trees on the property, so I spent as much time pulling pine needles out of the mulch as I did weeding out the garden. It was a mini obsession. When we moved to this neighborhood (in a different state), I discovered people here prefer pine straw to mulch. It made so much sense when I actually thought about it, since pine straw can be obtained without damaging trees, is much cheaper, comes in bales and NOT in plastic bags, and it actually breaks down to fertilize the soil.  I guess if you have pine trees maybe you don't want to landscape with pine needles because you would just look like you hadn't raked the yard, so you go with mulch so people can tell you care. If you don't have many, or any, pine trees, then you are safe to go the cheaper route. All these "rules"!

When we first moved in, I decided to order fresh pine straw to brighten the existing beds. For the first week, I freaked out every time I looked out the window because what my brain said should be mulch was covered in the hated pine straw. I finally got accustomed to seeing it, just about the time the leaves started to fall. See, I also come from a state that doesn't have seasons, so I forgot fall actually meant "fall" in some places, and two weeks after it was delivered, my pine straw was being buried in leaves. Grrr. I felt so dumb. I bet my neighbors got quite the chuckle out of watching the newbie waste money....but not this year!

This time around, I ordered the pine straw early. OK, I should have ordered it at the beginning of April, and it is mid-May, but still not fall. I placed the order online Saturday morning, and they advised it would be 5-7 days for delivery, or up to 6 weeks if I wanted them to install it. Having watched a professional crew lay it last Autumn in a matter of minutes, I figured I would do it myself. Sounded both fun and way cheaper.  My mom ordered me the wheelbarrow/dolly thing from Amazon, but unfortunately, the original wheelbarrow got lost somewhere in Kentucky, so Amazon had to ship me a new one. This meant that instead of arriving on Sunday, the wheelbarrow wouldn't arrive until Wednesday. Shouldn't matter, since I wasn't expecting pine straw until Thursday at the earliest, so I would still have plenty of time to assemble it and all that. Naturally, Monday morning the pine straw folks had a delivery to make on our street, so they tossed my stuff on the same truck and I got it less than 48 hours after I placed the order, well ahead of my predicted Thursday (best case) arrival. This thrilled me to my toes until I realized...no wheelbarrow. So, pine straw but no wheelbarrow just means more work, and as problems go, I am still a pretty lucky monkey. On with the show.

The Great Wall of Pine Straw

There was this lovely pine straw calculator online that allowed you to put in square footage, and it would tell you how many bales you needed. Since I am adding a new bed to the back, and I am not totally sure how large I want it, I decided to order what I knew I needed, plus some, for a total of 60 bales. With only a $5 delivery fee, I could always order more. You know something? 60 bales of pine straw stacked in your front yard is a little intimidating, especially when you are looking at hauling it without the benefit of a fancy wheelbarrow. Nonetheless, I pulled on my official yard work uniform (nasty t-shirt, jeans, boots, gloves, and a baseball cap) and headed out. I've learned a couple of very important things: I am super lucky to live where the high was 76 degrees at 2 pm, and pine straw does, in fact, weigh less than mulch...even though after hauling my 40th bale I was beginning to wonder. Also, a crew of trained professionals can do the yard in no time flat, but being neither a crew nor a professional, it took me considerably longer. However, I got probably 30 bales down, and the rest moved around to the side/back of the house...by hand...all in one afternoon.

Bunker with moving blanket roof.

My youngest child did "assist" by building a pretty cool bunker out of half the bales and a moving blanket. Not sure it was a ton of help, but it was pretty funny. I tell you, I was so exhausted by the time I got the stuff installed that I wasn't interested in moving the rest around back..and then the smallest of the small ones started talking about how she would help more when the wheelbarrow arrived, because going down the hill IN it would be awesome, and she was sure pine straw made excellent air bags. I suddenly found the motivation to haul the rest around the house and down the hill, thereby hopefully avoiding the whole wheelbarrow kamikaze experience. I am sure there will be other reasons to attempt it, but crisis averted this time.

Update: Wheelbarrow arrived, was assembled, and tested by the cats. When they finally got bored, I decided to take it outside to test it myself. Pretty awesome. Then I saw some weeds desperately in need of whacking, so when the small child asked if she could haul some rocks for me, I thought nothing of it. 30 seconds later I heard giggling and squealing and knew that the child was now accompanied by at least one other child, and they were careening down the hill. I told them they couldn't ride down the hill because it was dangerous and because the other neighbors didn't want to hear them screaming. About 7 minutes later I was knocking on the neighbor's door because her child was bleeding on my bench. Seems when I said they couldn't go down the hill in the wheelbarrow, they took that to mean they should go down the driveway, instead. Poor kid tried to stop herself from running into the back of our car, and her foot got stuck between it and the wheelbarrow. Soooo much blood. I felt horrible, but the child was back to playing about 20 minutes later. No stitches. What a trooper.


So, there are stacks of pine straw bales along the back of the house, and now it is raining. All three weather apps on my phone predict more rain this week. (And Weather Kittens are never wrong!) I guess if I can't go outside to play with my pine straw I can start looking into the sod vs. seed options for the remaining "lawn space" out front. Mr. Man thinks we could actually grow some grass out back, despite everyone saying there is too much shade.  I WILL grow grass because I do what I want.

I Got a Present..or Two..or Three!

So, Mother's Day was a couple of weeks ago. I may not be Mother of the Year, but I think I got her gifts by accident! Are you sitting down? Brace yourself...my family gave me a cordless weed whacker and a cordless hedge trimmer!  And their batteries are interchangeable! Go ahead, roll your eyes. You can even do that little groan thing because you think I should have gotten brunch and a new bonnet. (There is another post waiting in the wings about gift giving so I won't get into it right now...) I was thrilled. Not in the "it is a gift so I need to pretend" sort of way because I really wanted something pretty from Jimmy Choo, but in the real and true "this is spectacular and all mine and if you touch it I will bite your hand off " sort of way. Forget the "One Ring", that weed whacker is my precious.

Let me tell you, as soon as that battery was charged, out I went. I weed whacked until my arms wouldn't work. Had the battery not finally drained down, I would have whacked weeds and edged edges until I collapsed. It was SO MUCH FUN! Of course, I started out timidly, afraid to cut too close to the ground. And there was a little "oops" in the front ivy, sort of like when you cut your bangs a little too short on the left side and have to let it grow out, so it is gonna look weird for a week or so, but we're talking ivy so it will grow back pretty quickly. I still haven't tried the hedge trimmer.  Since our hedge is in desperate need of a trim and is a complete monster, Mr. Manly asked that I wait until he can assist/supervise before I tackle it. I had used the old electric trimmer, but this one is fancier and a little scary. Also, I am 5'3" tall, and the hedge is over 9". Evidently, the HOA frowns upon blood splatter on the driveway, and I guess if I "oops" with the trimmer, we could be in for a nasty-gram or a fine or something. Oh, and I would likely bleed out and scar the neighborhood children for life. Whatever.

Between Mother's Day and today, my pine straw got delivered. More on that next post, because it is a bit of a story.. but aren't most things? I can never seem to just say "I'm fine". It has to be "today this thing happened and it was funny except I am telling it badly and you had to be there but you weren't so I guess I am fine despite all that even if you don't get what I am trying to say because I don't speak English so much as gibberish." Anyone else do that?

Today, my newest toy arrived! I got this really genius wheelbarrow/dolly thing. (Thanks, Mom!!)  The small child is so irritated because she says she came up with the idea last year using our dolly and a cardboard box, but her's was more "ride down the hill to my doom" and less "dirt and mulch hauler." Anyway, this one has replaced the cardboard box with something that looks like a kitchen sink, at least in the photo. I haven't put it together, yet, but that is Task #1 for tomorrow morning. I think I scared the UPS man when he delivered it, though. The child had gotten a new Chubby Puppy toy as a reward for "helping" with the pine straw, and it came in the same delivery as my new toy, so naturally I elbowed her out of the way in the race to the curb. UPS driver gave me a weird look. I told him she would be fine and all that really mattered was my wheelbarrow was here. (The UPS guy is new. My FedEx guy knows me well enough now not to be surprised when I almost hug him for bringing my weed whacker or some other random yard whatsit. UPS guy will learn. He seems bright.)

Somehow my wheelbarrow turned into a potential Scout bed. I suspect she had help. 

So, between these lovelies and my fancy tools from Christmas, I am ready to take on any yard. However, as I have been forced to explain on numerous occasions, in this I have no delusions: I have enthusiasm, but maybe not so much in the way of skill. The landscaper I used last year told me that interest was actually more important because you can always learn to do something if you are enthusiastic. I think he may have just said that because I hadn't paid him, yet, but I choose to believe he was being honest. OK, so I have some delusions..but who cares? I do what I want.

Spring has Sprung, and It Brought Friends!

So, I haven't updated the blog in a couple of months due to technical difficulties, travel, and not a lot to talk about.  However,  I have a new Chromebook, we are home, and I have dumb thoughts to share! (And there was much rejoicing...)

The backyard population has had a spring surge. I have gone from a squirrel to 3, a couple of chipmunks to several, and my cardinal has a harem.

I also now have a couple of cute rabbits, a couple of towhees, house finches, all added to the chickadees and titmice that have been with me since I put out the feeders.  It can get pretty busy out there, and Jem and I take up residence most evenings in front of the large window overlooking the backyard. So much to see! The one bummer is that when it gets too dark for me to see, Jem is still acting like the greatest thing ever is happening right outside the window. Drives me crazy. Of course, my neighbors are convinced I have either serious mental problems or a healthy drug habit because I frequently stick my face against the glass trying to peer into the darkness to see whatever night creatures are lurking in the yard. Hmm. maybe if I turned the lights off INSIDE, the outside would be easier to see...Sheesh. (Holy cow, dummy! I totally forgot that I have night vision binoculars! Sometimes my dumb surprises even me.)

There are also other birds that I don't recognize. I need a good bird book for our portion of the state, or a good app on my phone that lets me snap a photo and tells me what bird it is, what they eat, where they nest, etc. I think I read somewhere that there is some app that lets you take photos of shoes and then tells you where you can buy them. Wizardry, I tell you, but if that works, why can't they do it for wildlife? Maybe they just really want the technology to identify mystery shoes, but haven't pulled it off, yet. Or, maybe I just made that up as wishful thinking but made it about shoes because I don't think I deserve to have something so magical benefit me...other than the elves that live in my phone and run text messages back and forth. Ahem..anyway, I need a quick and fool-proof way for identifying birds, because it seems like every week a new bird pops by. Unfortunately, the new birds either move too quickly that I can't get a good look, or they fly away long before I can navigate through my copy of Sibley's. I guess there are very cool people that can identify birds by their song, but since I still can't identify musical artists by their songs, even ones I really, really like, I don't know that there is much hope for me. .....

An episode of Dr. Who came on and one of the characters said he really loved ELO, but the song that was playing was one I always thought was by the Beatles. I am a failure. Just don't tell Mr. Music Snob that I still get confused by the whole ZZTop / Lynyrd Skynyrd thing. I mean, I know they aren't the same, and I am pretty sure ZZTop guys have beards because one of them was Angela's dad on Bones, but I seriously can't remember which songs go with which band, even though I am almost positive I like both. I haven't watched television in years so he may not be her Dad anymore. Billy Idol might be her Dad, or someone from Lynard Skynard paid Mr. ZZ top to pretend to be her Dad, in which case she might need therapy with Sweets. I probably screwed all that up and now feel the need to binge watch Bones on Netflix.

And none of that has anything to do with my yard or birds or cats or anything terribly relevant, but then again...I do what I want.