2/10/17

Chaos, Destruction, and Death Part III

Death:

Let's just not. It is much easier to complain about tree killers and their evil henchmen and wildlife specialists who like taunting me than focus on real issues. I will say that death certificates do not make good Christmas gifts, so maybe go with a gift card to Lowe's or a Christmas cactus. Everyone loves those.

Cats are fine, the six million dollar squirrel is still with us, nursing homes are wickedly expensive, probate is a pain, and "lawyer" is yet another job I am either unwilling or unable to do.

We can add it to the ever-growing list:


  • Vet
  • Retirement actuarial consultant
  • Sentry with the Queen's Guard
  • Naval nuclear reactor engineer
  • Smokejumper
  • Welder
  • Sous Chef
  • Snake charmer
  • Long haul trucker
  • Bus driver
  • Taxi driver
  • Pre-K child wrangler
  • Victoria's Secret model
  • Role model
  • Army general
  • Anything involving pneumatic tools
  • High-pressure salesman
  • Plumber
  • Cattle rancher
  • Arachnid specialist
  • Etiquette advisor
  • Butcher
  • Portrait painter
  • Happy the Clown.


..and diplomat. I am so not diplomatic.

Good thing I can do what I want...and have a good lawyer.

The end...

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