Let's just not. It is much easier to complain about tree killers and their evil henchmen and wildlife specialists who like taunting me than focus on real issues. I will say that death certificates do not make good Christmas gifts, so maybe go with a gift card to Lowe's or a Christmas cactus. Everyone loves those.
Cats are fine, the six million dollar squirrel is still with us, nursing homes are wickedly expensive, probate is a pain, and "lawyer" is yet another job I am either unwilling or unable to do.
We can add it to the ever-growing list:
- Vet
 - Retirement actuarial consultant
 - Sentry with the Queen's Guard
 - Naval nuclear reactor engineer
 - Smokejumper
 - Welder
 - Sous Chef
 - Snake charmer
 - Long haul trucker
 - Bus driver
 - Taxi driver
 - Pre-K child wrangler
 - Victoria's Secret model
 - Role model
 - Army general
 - Anything involving pneumatic tools
 - High-pressure salesman
 - Plumber
 - Cattle rancher
 - Arachnid specialist
 - Etiquette advisor
 - Butcher
 - Portrait painter
 - Happy the Clown.
 
..and diplomat. I am so not diplomatic.
Good thing I can do what I want...and have a good lawyer.
The end...
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